Quote!

Keep smiling. :)

Different

Hey friends!  Guess what?  School is OVER!  I'm free!

I had a really fun night yesterday.  There was an all school dance for everyone and I went with my good friend.  It was a wonderful end to a surprisingly wonderful school year.  I'm practically a senior now.  I don't think I'll feel it until I walk into school though.

Another great end to this school year was yearbook day.  I remember in elementary school, I wanted to get everybody's signature.  But now that I'm older, I've realized it's most important to get the people you really want to write in your yearbook.

The messages that touched me the most, were the ones where  they were sincere and actually knew who I was instead of the H.A.G.S. messages a person leaves in the same bottom left corner for every person.  Some of the things they wrote touched my heart very much.

I think every one has a dream of someone leaving some huge letter in the back of their yearbook, but I don't think I would care unless it was someone I really cared about and who cared about me.

I am excited for that time in my future, when I can meet someone like that and it will be spectacular.  We'll just be two normal people who turn normal life into something much more...extraordinary.  And it will be hard...and it won't be perfect...but it will be a journey of learning and loving and that's how i want it.  If it was absolutely perfect, that wouldn't be real.  I guess what I'm trying to say, is that by meeting each other, we'll have found someone that makes life better, someone that makes us smile and laugh, to see good, and to push through things...together.

That gets me thinking...

I want a love where:
We leave kind notes for each other.
Texting is nice, but we talk face to face or call more.
We can be silent and feel loved instead of feeling awkward
We are positive and smile and laugh a lot.
We dance, hold hands (when I get there), kiss (also when I get there...haha I'm VL baby!), enjoy just being together talking about whatever.
We go on dates often, not "hang outs"
We are understanding and sensitive of each others feelings.
We like doing similar things together, but embrace the differences too.
We work hard.  This is a must.  No lazy work ethic guys.
He respects his parents and family.
We treat each other like gold.
He looks for the good, and not the bad in the world and in a day.
He likes to think and shares his thoughts with me.
And other things my tired brain won't create right now:)

Things Are Looking Up

It is such a great day today!

I've loved so many things about today.

It is weird how you can feel completely different on days that are right next to each other.

Yesterday was a lot of crazy stuff.

I went to the amusement park Lagoon!

I also picked out a quilt until one in the morning.

Things that you love aren't as fun to do when you're up that late...

Nevertheless!

It was absolutely worth it.

Yesterday, and practically this whole past weekend has looked like this ^^^^

It contained a lot of busy stuff.

But, I've gotten past it all and I've smiled more than I have in a long time today because I chose to.

Some great things about today:

• I can finally take my quilt home!  It's not finished yet.  I still have to hand stitch the binding.  But I was elated to actually be done in that class and to bring home my treasure.  My teacher was a lot more kind and patient than I thought she would be and comforted my fear about my grade. 
• I got invited by my math teacher as the one girl to go to a special math activity week in Park City!  I love my math classes and so I couldn't be more pleased to go.  I'm also going to an engineering camp in the summer.
• I completed another final, which means I only have two left.  I aced this one.  Things are looking up.
• I'm reading great books.
• There are only 3 days of school, but only one "hard" day of school left.
• I have great friends that I got to talk with today.
• Our pumpkin sprouted in our garden!
• I'm grateful that I have gotten an education and am able to have all of these great experiences.

You can make today as good as you make it, no matter what happens.  Try a smile out for size.  Act the way you want to feel.  Go out of your way to make someone else's day.  And before I go...YOU.  YOU are GREAT.

Think About It

I have one week left of school.

YES!!!

I am so excited to have a break from that busy schedule for a change.

I don't want school to end for one academic reason though:  I have to finish my quilt.  I have been working on it nonstop, coming in early in the morning and staying in after school.  I am literally steps away from finishing, but I am worried that my teacher is going to give up on me and give me a bad grade.  I can't afford that!  When I've worked so hard, I have to finish what I've started.  That's been pressing on my mind, and I pray she'll let me finish, and give me the grade that I deserve. 

Other than that though, school ending has sounded like a dream.  Already, I've been destressing.  I started reading the book "My Story" by Elizabeth Smart.  This book was my choice and wasn't an assignment.  There is a distinct fun level in reading when it isn't for an assignment in my opinion.  I've been absolutely fascinated with her story.  Her story is one that impressed upon my mind when I was a little girl.  I'm surprised that I remembered it really.  She is a beacon of hope and strength to me.

I have a maze mind today.   Where am I going to get to?  Who am I going to be?  I have big dreams for myself.  I can see myself becoming many things.  I see myself being a trustworthy friend as I enter into my senior year of high school.  I see myself becoming a Mother someday.  I see myself using the knowledge I've attained to go into a career I love. Right now, I've been thinking along the lines of a major in math or science in college when I get there.  I see myself getting a job, and being a leader.  I see myself having a confident voice and the ability to change the world by being and improving myself.  I see myself not being alone.  I see my family all around around me.  The family I have now, and the family I strongly desire to have in the future.  It is a powerful and wonderful thought to me that in my future, I will find a man that I will love with my entire being and who will love me back equally.  We will be a force for good in the world.

These are some of my meandering thoughts for today...they don't really corrolate, but it's been what I've been thinking about lately.  It's interesting that people can think of so many things at once.  Amazing really.  Your ability to think is a priceless gift.   Think about it.

No Color Codes

I feel like I can breathe.

I'm always breathing of course, but you know that feeling of things just getting easier to handle and being able to see life from a less-stressed camera?

Me too.

I can honestly say that I have had a magnificent day.  It's not color coded with AP tests, week long sleep deprivation  parties with myself, not being able to open up to anyone, or crazy doubts.  Or those days where people ask "How are you?"  and you just say..."I'm well" ( or "good" if you're on one of those ugly ungrammatical days) because you feel like there is so much to explain, but you don't want to dampen someone's good day by being in a not as good mood.

Things are s l o w i n g down and I quite like it.  I was able to enjoy things today I haven't been able to do for such a long time!  I had time to enjoy an evening with my family totally focused on them without homework in the back of my head.  I ran and ran because I haven't done it in so long.  I ate salsa after school.  I went to an extra taekwondo class.  I read and was able to enjoy it and not feel pained by being a slow reader and not enjoying it as much as I liked.  I talked with my friends at school.  I talked to a friend about...well we talk about everything pretty much.

I'm coming back to me.  Balanced, happy, open, confident, unstressed me.  I literally feel like an entirely new person.

I feel like I have a lot to talk about right now.  I do.  My mind is so loud.

School is three weeks away from being over.  I am so excited to have a summer break, but honestly I am torn too.  Some of my best friends are seniors who are leaving on honorable missions of my church and others are leaving to college.  I want to soak in all I can from them.  I knows it's silly, but I'm worried about who I can find a close friend in.  9th grade was so hard for me when all my older friends left and the drama started.  

But I know I am never alone.  I have a Savior who understands me perfectly. I would just love to not be quietly lonely.  I want someone I can have deep, comfortable conversations with and feel close to and trust.  I'm sure I'll do fine...it's just going to be a challenge at first.  All I can do is my best, be me, and be brave.

There is a peace I feel in my heart that is becoming a part of my life.  The closer I come to Christ, the more I find myself.  The beauty of this world is magnified to such an indescribable level that I hope other people can see it.  I can find those quiet moments and find comfort.  I feel I can separate myself from everything going on, and pour my heart  to Him who will always be there to listen and understand.  

This is a time to love one another.  Be kind.  Hurting people does no good for anyone and that includes you.  Love is the very essence of why we are here.  

Breathing...is splendid.

She is a Star

“I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.
I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.
I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children.
I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.
I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.
I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.” 
― Marjorie Pay Hinckley

This is one of my all time favorite quotes.  I believe it is a quote that describes my mother very well.

My Mother is...

A healer
A listener
My best friend ever
A chef
A beautiful daughter of our Heavenly Father
Diligent in all she does
One with twinkly eyes and a radiant smile
A sweet wake up in the morning
A constant hug
Beautiful to me always
A rescuer of people
Tender and Gentle
Someone to be myself with
Histerical and lighthearted
A mother with deep feelings and thoughts
An encourager to do my best
Busy in the best way
A hard worker
Close to all her family

My gratitude for my mother is unending.  I am and forever will be grateful for the gift of life I have been given and for the life she has continued to give through all of my growing up.  She is special to me.  I hope that she always feels the love surrounding her every day and knows her potential and divine influence on all those around her.  My mother is a star.  She is constant and shines both day and night, even when we or she can't always see it.  Her light is giving.  Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mothers and women in the world tonight.  Your role in this life is indescribably beautiful.

Ain't That a Kick in the Head

I participated in a taekwondo tournament today.  Which includes sparring, traditional forms, kicking people in the head, lots of water bottles, and this time a little baby named Joel that my Mom was tending for my taekwondo instructors.  He was one of the calmest babies I have ever seen.  He slept for most of the time, but when he was awake, he was so peaceful and curious about everything around him.  It was so sweet.  And he was so small.

Amazing isn't it?  That this little baby, not even a month old, has the ability to reach into people's hearts and teach them feel the tender, precious moments of life by just being alive?

I hope to be a mother to many of these miraculous little ones.  I want to have a family that is eternal, loving, close, and strong.  I want my future husband and I to be one of those couples that are unwavering in their determination to hold to their beliefs and each other.  We won't be like the  rest of the world, but we will be each other's world.

These are a few of my favorite things...

There are many things in life that are extraordinary...these are some of my favorites:

• Misty, rainy days (Thunderstorm days especially!!!)
• Reading great books
• Sharing sincere smiles
• Deep, real, and fun conversation
• Singing til my soul is full of joy
• Secret dance parties in my room
• That minute or two of thinking before slipping into the arms of sleep.
• Good smelling lotion
• Handwritten cards
• Positive attitudes
• Adventures outside
• Playing piano
• Having the best friends on this planet.
• Warm, soft blankets
• My pet lizard Sydney
• Talking with my siblings late at night
• My first step out of the door in the morning and seeing the sky
• Laughing and smiling
• A testimony of the Book of Mormon and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
•  Sunday dinners and mood
• Learning new things every day
• The smell of brand new books
• Colors...especially green today because of the rain.
• Getting a letter in the mail
• Running, because I can.
• Getting homework done and feeling free
• Just plain thinking
• Making food from new recipes
• Tree climbing...all the way to the top
• Going on walks
• Listening to music, especially musicals or classical
• Crochet
• Seeing my family and being with them every day
• Sunsets with clouds
• Prayer

I'm Learning to Fly

I am pleasantly happy today.  I hope you all are too.  Want to know why?

I discovered that I am a superhero.

I can't fly...but then again I can.  I'm not incredibly strong...but then again I am.  I can't read minds, breath underwater, control the elements, whatever you can think of...but on the other hand I can do all of those things.

Superhero powers are descriptions of what human beings are capable of.

In my sewing class today, I was sewing many circles to form a gorgeous quilt I've been creating for months.  I felt so much peace and relaxation while I did this.  And I realized one of my superpowers is patience.  Not everyone can sit through all the time, detail, and mistakes of such a project.

My dear friend who I've become best friends with has taught me how to fly.  As much as I would love to actually be in the air like an eagle and see everything, I've felt a similar experience here on the solid ground.  Through talking with this friend, I've discovered so much positivity, possibility, and weightlessness of spirit that comes with finding true happiness.  I've felt like I've been flying, and by being this person's friend, I've felt like I can take a step back and see the broader picture of so many beautiful and important things.

I've become incredibly strong this year.  My school work has been very taxing on just maintaining my normal self.  My schedule feels incredibly cramped into too little time.  But through this busy-ness, I have seen how strong I really am.  I can do so many things!  I've worked really hard and gotten great grades, I've made time for the most important things in my life-my family, my friends, and the Lord-, I've said kind words and not let who I am slip when my mouth opens. I've seen the good in the world.  So much is happening, but I know I can handle it all when I remember what is the most important thing to me.

Water Iris

This is a poem I wrote concerning a secret. A beautiful, wonderful secret.  But the person who held it did not know that I knew about it.  I wanted this secret to remain a secret until that person wanted to reveal it to me.  It was theirs. So, I wrote this poem while I waited.

Water Iris

By: Claire Jenkins

Tonight, stars are watching you and me through one-way glass.

My feet arch into mountains at my first step outside

Then settle into the beaded wet that marks this day.

Who knew freedom could be so quiet.

Stamped with green ink, new-formed leaves breathe in life.

They never miss a detail,

 News of fresh gossip and new-found secrets

leap and travel through the twisted branches of the same tree.

I smile.

And I'm surprised that they don't all fall off in shock.

This is a real smile. 

One that says I know who I am.

This is a smile that holds a secret.

It disappears as I see it.

Water Iris.

In silent stares I see that it knows.

My secret drips purple through it's veins.

In that one glance the glimmering droplets of water on its surface

reflected what they had seen in me.

Through the lake in my eyes, all the way to the locked doors of my mind

they showed me I didn't need a key to open them.

My smile returned.

Photograph still, that elegant flower invaded my curiousity.

Night petals rippled inward protecting.

Night petals swooped smoothly, breathlessly.

Water Iris needed no key.

It knew it all.

Glowing beams of moonlight added to it's elegance and serene beauty

And in this instance

The lamplight became my star.

I thought of you,

And I smiled.

My Name is Claire Elizabeth

It is raining outside my window today.  It's a different rain.  It's the kind of rain where instead of making everything seem grey, it illuminates the entire world with vivid color.  The mountains give up their crowns to the kings of the sky and seep into their own still majesty.  My hands opened and felt the miracle of water falling from the sky.  Rain is probably at the top of everyone's favorites list.  Who doesn't like the refreshing smell of a clean earth, and a change of sunshine every once in a while?  It's a beautiful day and a beautiful world.

And many people don't even look.

I'm a part of this world.  And you are too.  Everyone is a part of this beautiful, changing world.

Granted...it's not perfect, 

It can't be.  But it is beautiful...all of it.  You just have to look for it.

Everything we do contributes to a bigger picture.  No one and no thing is insignificant.

My name is Claire.  Hey there!  Sorry to meet you so informally, but, if that's the case, it's nice to meet you! So you can get to know me better:

•  I believe I am an increasingly confident girl, with a loud mind, a kind heart, and a large work ethic.  
•   I live in one of the most gorgeous places on earth-the Great Rocky Mountains.  I am 10 minutes away from canyon trails, forests, cascading waterfalls, and caves.  They are my castle and my home.
• I have deep blue eyes.  They are dark, so don't start thinking the sky (Think stellar's jay blue).   Think back to the rain.  They are like that.  I have my Mom's rainbow eyes, so when I smile, they almost disappear!
• Brown, shiny hair.
• I'm definitely an optimist.  I see the good in the world and in people.
• I am honest.
• I am loyal and reliable.  Promises and secrets are kept safe.  Cross my heart twice.
• I love to do taekwondo, sew, listen to music, go on walks, sing, be outside, play piano, be with my family, and many others you will learn about.
• I LOVE to smile.   It makes me happy.  To smile is to change the world.
• ...........that should be good.   I can't let you know ALL about me, now can I?

I started this blog because my best friend has one that uplifts and inspires me every day.  I would like to follow his example and do the same and also to just share insights I have throughout  my days.

This story has just begun...